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January 26, 2012
77 notes

A little something regarding the pill.

Birth control. Some people consider this controversial, or whatever, and I don’t intend on persuading you all on going one way or another, but I have recently become (personally) enlightened. I started taking what is supposedly the lowest dosage of a prescribed oral contraceptive about 18 months ago. I was getting married soon & my skin had sucked since I was 12 and I have the greatest health insurance, so going on it wasn’t a hard choice. Other than giving me nausea every once in a blue moon, I (felt like I) responded to it fine.

Fast forward to about a month ago, I decided to go off of it for…reasons. #1 being my absolute disinterest in my husband. That was actually the only reason I (thought I) had for going off. My skin is awful now. The worst. However, I would take bad skin over going back on the pill any day.

Within weeks I realized how much better I felt. Not necessarily even better, it was just the fact that I felt. I realized that over my time on the pill it was slowly changing how I reacted to about everything in my life, too slow for me to catch onto. Hormonal doesn’t even cover it. I was unbelievably pessimistic, irritable, even suicidal (during the certain monthly lady time.) Which isn’t like me in the least. Normally I am am not phased when that time comes around. I actually tend to be happier. Anyway. Just last night, I was lying in bed next to Steven, arguing about something - something I would have been irate about just weeks ago, probably - and I thought to myself “I’m actually not even mad.” And then proceeded to just get over whatever it was. Which has happened a few times since going off. Having control over my emotions, and having the ability to trust my feelings makes it so much easier to communicate them to Steven. Handling myself above everything else has proven to be the best thing for every aspect of my world.

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this. I guess, what I’m trying to say is - I am elated to finally have my body back.

Tags: personal birth control

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December 06, 2011
37 notes
madlyalive: arrived home from a long 9 hour shift to find a darling little brown package waiting for me on my doorstep. i ran inside and ripped it open to unwrap the perfect (early) birthday gift - a 4 pack of the most delightful teas, a loose leaf tea strainer, and an air tight tea container. i’m currently enjoying the perfection that is gypsy rose. n’tima and steven are such a blessing. ♥   <3

madlyalive:

arrived home from a long 9 hour shift to find a darling little brown package waiting for me on my doorstep. i ran inside and ripped it open to unwrap the perfect (early) birthday gift - a 4 pack of the most delightful teas, a loose leaf tea strainer, and an air tight tea container. i’m currently enjoying the perfection that is gypsy rose. n’tima and steven are such a blessing. ♥  

<3

Tags: birthday ntima personal :')

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September 15, 2011
48 notes

today it’s 76 degrees and breezy outside, and I feel like I’m in high school again, and I get to hang out with my boyfriend all day, and it just feels so good.

I love being married, I love our marathon of sleepovers, I love buying blueberry muffin mix just because that’s all we used to bake together, and I love that I’ll never have to stop being his girlfriend.

not even when I’m 73 and he’s 75. we will always flirt. even in spite of our bones aching to do so.

Tags: personal

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August 26, 2011
112 notes

dearstevencraige:

I give you my life this day
In the presence of God
And according to His Will
I leave my father and mother

And I will cleave to you
I promise you, that throughout the eternities that I am blessed to be by your side,
as we share our life with God,

who gave us one another-

I will think the best, assume the good, and doubt the bad.

I will forgive you.

I will trust you.

I will serve you.

I will support you.

I will share with you.

and I will sacrifice for you.

As Christ has laid down His life for me-
I will lay down my life, for you.


Today, every day, and for the eternities after this life.


-February 26, 2011

Tags: dear steven personal vows

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July 31, 2011
48 notes

N: Why are you looking at me like this (and kissing me like this, and talking to me like this)?

S: Because. We have a good marriage.

Bless his heart for appreciating, acknowledging, and reminding me of the little things that really are the biggest things.

Tags: personal

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July 19, 2011
51 notes
thiselephants: (by this elephant) after working on a wedding video for 48 hours straight, friday rolled around and I got picked up by mary claire and madeline (who I met for the first time!). we drove 5 hours up to n’tima’s house. within the three days we were there we laughed so much, talked about anything and ate everything (you better believe n’tima’s cooking is so wonderful). this weekend was spent in good company and i can’t believe it’s over already. it’s a very surreal feeling meeting someone/people who know you from the internet, being with them is like hanging out with your friends. the best part is you leave knowing that these aren’t just people from the tumblr but people you can call your friends. i’m anxious to upload all the photos but i’m waiting to get film developed and dont want to exhaust everyone from all of them at once. but it was an incredible weekend and just what i needed. i love these girls. life works in strange ways but im so glad we all met. (why am I so tan lately?) and now i’m packing up soon to head to ireland for an insane wedding. life is weird and cool. Amen. These girls fill my heart in all sorts of different ways. I have never in my life felt so comfortable with a group of girls in such a short period of time, and the memories of this weekend make up for it already being over.

thiselephants:

(by this elephant)

after working on a wedding video for 48 hours straight, friday rolled around and I got picked up by mary claire and madeline (who I met for the first time!). we drove 5 hours up to n’tima’s house. within the three days we were there we laughed so much, talked about anything and ate everything (you better believe n’tima’s cooking is so wonderful). this weekend was spent in good company and i can’t believe it’s over already. it’s a very surreal feeling meeting someone/people who know you from the internet, being with them is like hanging out with your friends. the best part is you leave knowing that these aren’t just people from the tumblr but people you can call your friends.

i’m anxious to upload all the photos but i’m waiting to get film developed and dont want to exhaust everyone from all of them at once.

but it was an incredible weekend and just what i needed. i love these girls. life works in strange ways but im so glad we all met.

(why am I so tan lately?)

and now i’m packing up soon to head to ireland for an insane wedding.

life is weird and cool.

Amen.

These girls fill my heart in all sorts of different ways. I have never in my life felt so comfortable with a group of girls in such a short period of time, and the memories of this weekend make up for it already being over.

(via thiselephante)

Tags: personal

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July 11, 2011
63 notes
I remember beginning to despise my hair in third grade. I hated it&#8217;s shape &amp; curl &amp; I would slick it back in to a tight ponytail more often than not. That was also the year that I wore non-prescription glasses because I thought I looked prettier in them, even though I got migraines from wearing them. The first time I let my hair out of its dreadful pony was in 7th grade when I moved to Okinawa. That was only because I got my hair chemically straightened, and continued to do so religiously throughout my high school years. I had tamed the mane and I never intended on turning back. (even though I had to keep my hair at shoulders length, only, due to the damage) When I moved to California, I continued to straighten my hair slick straight every day, or put it up. I have just recently allowed it to grow out naturally, and wear it down without touching it. This is it&#8217;s real curl, un-brushed and all. I really don&#8217;t remember a time that it was this manageable, and I definitely don&#8217;t remember a time when I loved my hair so much. It saddens me that it took nearly 10 years to accept my genetics, but I guess this is a good step forward.

I remember beginning to despise my hair in third grade. I hated it’s shape & curl & I would slick it back in to a tight ponytail more often than not. That was also the year that I wore non-prescription glasses because I thought I looked prettier in them, even though I got migraines from wearing them.

The first time I let my hair out of its dreadful pony was in 7th grade when I moved to Okinawa. That was only because I got my hair chemically straightened, and continued to do so religiously throughout my high school years. I had tamed the mane and I never intended on turning back. (even though I had to keep my hair at shoulders length, only, due to the damage)

When I moved to California, I continued to straighten my hair slick straight every day, or put it up. I have just recently allowed it to grow out naturally, and wear it down without touching it. This is it’s real curl, un-brushed and all. I really don’t remember a time that it was this manageable, and I definitely don’t remember a time when I loved my hair so much.

It saddens me that it took nearly 10 years to accept my genetics, but I guess this is a good step forward.

Tags: yada yada personal its 1AM forgive me sunburn

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May 23, 2011
10 notes

this week I need a list. this week is too busy.

tomorrow- steven’s 21st. make breakfast. spend a regretful amount of time at the DMV. get the house ready for my parents. make cakes to freeze. make his favorite dinner.

wednesday- my parents get here. buy fabric for the shower curtain. buy aluminum tub for the ice & drinks on saturday.

thursday- sewwww.

friday- make lemonade. marinate meats. prep for side dishes. fill the balloons with helium (get the house ready for more family-and the party)

saturday- frost the cakes. decorate. smoke/grill the tri tip & chicken. fill mason jars. friends arrive at two. surprise family members show up a little after. clean up.

sunday- entertain guests. speak in church. leave early & entertain some more.

monday- family leaves. take pictures for a family of 6, 2 hours away.

then I’m gonna relax.

Tags: personal I'm too lazy to get up and write this on paper

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May 12, 2011
12 notes

I am flooded with heavyhearted memories of who you once were, and what you once did, and how God awful it all was- but all I want to do is see you walk through that front door, so I can shower you with love, and chase this all away with the good man that you are now.

Tags: personal the house is too quiet

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May 11, 2011
29 notes

I am such a jealous, insecure, bitter human being. I don’t deserve a vacation, but I need to catch my breath.

Tags: personal excuse my wallowing