Something regarding this, this, & the new year.

Everyone has their own take on marriage. I’ve been given several opinions on how my marriage should be. Whether it be from believers or not. I have heard it all. As far as I’m concerned my marriage is no one’s business but my own, and what goes on in your marriage isn’t my business either.

I swore off marriage & even having kids for most of my life based on what I saw growing up. I never planned on marrying young. I never believed marriage was a positive thing, even. I just thought it was something people did & they were stuck with it forever.

Sometimes getting married (young) is a mistake. Sometimes it’s not. However, it will always be a risk. And with Steven, that’s a risk I am willing to make. Like I said previously, I am only in complete control over 50% of our equation. I know that we work together, so far. That we have grown & changed in sequence with one another, so far. All I know is that it works right now. Do I know with a surety that we will make it through everything? Of course not.

Am I hopeful? Yes. Am I optimistic? Absolutely. What would be the point of all of it if I wasn’t?

Do I think that sometimes people lose themselves in marriage? Yes. A lot of the time, actually - but always? No.

I know I don’t owe anyone any convincing on whether or not my marriage will succeed, but I do know exactly who I am and where I want to be. My life didn’t end because I got married at 18. I am free to live, and travel & pursue my educational/occupational dreams without feeling tethered down. Steven is my best friend, my husband, my family, not a dictator. We are two very whole individuals and together or apart, we always will be.

As far as 2012 is concerned. I’m not going to make a list of things that I’m going to beat my head over for not accomplishing. I am just going to continue to do what makes me happy. And for right now, Steven is included in my equation of happiness.

And I am not sorry for that.